The Great Christmas Tree Debate

Now that Christmas is imminent, Mark and I have been contemplating our decor scheme.

Found some baubles and a wreath at John Lewis this weekend – looks like we will be having a red theme.

Next stop, Treesville!

While I love the scent and authenticity that a real tree affords, I can’t help but feel that the shedding of the pine needles makes it less than ideal. Add to that the likelihood that small puddles of cat vomit (full of pine needles) will mysteriously appear throughout the house… and I’m thinking a fake tree is in order.

Mark, on the other hand, is very pro-real tree.

I think the compromise will have to be that we try a real tree this year, that Mark has to clean up any resulting cat vomit, and that he will have to dispose of the tree when I’m not around. I know, it’s dumb… but I get really upset when it comes to discarding of the poor tree’s carcass. Even if it did fulfill its Christmas destiny.

This probably didn’t warrant such a long post, but just wondering what everyone else has planned in terms of Christmas trees. It really is a polarizing issue…


26 Responses to The Great Christmas Tree Debate

  1. Pete says:

    Fake tree, all the way. If I’m dying for pine tree scent, I’ll just hang a couple of car fresheners on the bugger.

    It’s been up 24 hours… kitten has already taken down every single ornament to a height of two feet.

  2. Pete says:

    April – on the jumped-the-shark “The Simpsons” last night there was a fantastic Ralph Wiggumism:

    Homer takes over an ice cream truck and Ralph gets a cone, which he immediately sticks to his forehead, cone out.

    Ralph: “I’m a unitard!”

    I think that’s the only time I’ve laughed at the show in the last couple of years.

    Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers!

  3. I could quite happily get through the whole of the christmas period without a single bauble or piece of tinsel. That’s just the kind of guy I am. Not that I’m anti-christmas or humbug or whatever, just that I focus on enjoying my family rather than the commericial crap that goes with christmas. Christmas is cool for just stopping, looking around, counting your blessings and letting out a big smile… and its something to do with jesus too apparently.

    Happy almost-december everyone.
    Or for the homestarrunner fans, happy decemberween everyone.

  4. April says:

    Haha, Super Nintendo Chalmers… classic.

    My fave Ralphism is when he’s floating out to sea, and says he’s going to Africa to see “lions, and tigers, and Santa…”

    It all comes back to Christmas, eventually.

    Good point Gooders re: commercialism. We’ve been talking about having an “imagination Christmas” like the Flandereses!

  5. April says:

    Why does my last comment say it’s awaiting moderation???
    No comprehendo.

  6. markandapril says:

    No idea why it got held in moderation, but I’ve approved it now.

    Is there a better Ralph Wiggum moment than when he is looking all concerned at wetting himself, only to then grin in warm, uriney satisfaction?


  7. Eric says:

    Fake Christmas trees are crap. While I understand the convenience; I mean, I’m a fan of folding things and hypo-allergenic objects as much as the next guy, but nothing, I repeat nothing beats the look and feel of a real tree. As Gooders is apt to point out, Christmas can easily become a time of gluttony and artificiality. But without the real tree, where’s the threat that the thing might tip over and soak the presents (happened), or the sweet tang that only rotting pine needles can provide? Yes sir, I believe in a good old fashioned Christmas… one where I can curl up on the sofa in my Hermes cashmere wrap while I sip Godiva hot chocolate and watch the Christmas classic movies on our LCD Samsung TV… It’s about the little things, people. Simplify…. simplify.

  8. Pete says:

    Pfft. Nothing says “happy birthday, Jebus” like highly flammable molded polyethlene assembled by a six-year old Chinese kid making 34 cents a day.

    Fake all the way. Do it for poor little Cheung Li.

  9. Andy says:

    A house isn’t a house unless there’s an artificial Christmas tree hidden somewhere up in the attic.

    Just like a garage isn’t a garage unless there’s a patch of oil on the floor, or like a teenage boys bedroom isn’t a teenage boys bedroom unless there’s a catalogue under the bed that falls open at the lingerie pages, or like………oh forget it you get the jist.

  10. markandapril says:

    The annoying thing is that there WAS an artificial Chrimbo tree in the loft when we moved in – left by the previous owner. However, convinced that we would be getting a real tree, I recently used the old fakey to form the body of a humongous Guy Fawkes that sat atop our raging inferno this Bonfire Night past.


  11. Brian says:

    If you lived downtown in the city, I would say go artificial; but if you’re in the burbs, I’d be more inclined to go for the real deal…also I think because its your first house and first christmas in it you really should get a real one…a HUGE kick ass tree!!!
    aaaaaaand as far as the Hermes cashmere wrap Eric…uhhhmmmm…no! haha

  12. Pete says:

    In Christmas-related news, the city of Chicago has banned video ads for “The Nativity Story” from appearing at the annual Christkindlmarket festival.

    Banned advertising a movie about the Nativity at a Christmas festival… for, you guessed it, fear of offending non-Christians… who, in Chicago at least, apparently frequent Christmas festivals.


  13. markandapril says:

    I’m considering becoming an anti-pc activist. Or at least, dedicating a section of this blog to highlight the escalating ridiculousness of political correctness.

    I remember on St. George’s Day (he’s the patron saint of England) a few years ago, my home town of Oldham forced people to remove the English flag from certain public places because it was deemed to be causing offence to the Asian communities. I mean fancy wanting to proudly display the English flag on the most quintessentially English day of the year…


  14. and here’s some others:

    ba ba black sheep is now “ba ba black-and-white sheep”
    the black board is a chalk board and the white board is a dry marker board.
    There’s lots more but to be honest I think renaming black boards and white boards is actually a racist thing to do. I’m offended that they think they need to do this. They are censoring the words “black” and “white” as if they are inherently evil or something. grrrrrraahhhhhh!!!!

    also, oldham council staff can’t have any winnie the pooh calendars in the offices because the character piglet is offensive to muslims!! (AGGGHHHH!!)

    The royal oldham hospital (where my girlfriend works) are not allowed to wear santa hats in case they offend muslims. I think that one is particularly dumb because a santa hat has ZERO to do with christianity (as far as I know) so that’s just like saying “it isn’t islamic so we are offended by it”)

    I’m not a bnp voter but what’s going on?
    schools don’t put on a nativity play anymore???? what???

  15. markandapril says:

    It makes me angry reading this nonsense.

    Imagine if Muslims were told they weren’t allowed to hang their Pakistani flags in their communities, or if Jews weren’t allowed to wear their skull caps, or that all statues of Buddha had to be taken out of public visibility. There would be riots in the streets.

    A black comedian can call black people by the ‘N’ word, and can call white people ‘cracker’…but if a white comedian did the same he would be lucky to get off the stage with his life.

    Racism is unacceptable in any form, but we’ve gone way too far the other way now and all that’s happening is the gradual erosion of culture and common sense.

    Goooooders, I have an idea. Remind me to run it by you at footy practice tonight.


  16. Sheri says:

    I say fake tree that’s pre-lit to save your precious hands from getting all torn up when twisting those damn lights around the tree branches. Leave the real stuff for outdoor pots, it will save TONS of time cleaning up.

    In terms of cats, they don’t know the difference btw real and fake. Abbey LOVES to lie under the tree and gaze up at the lights and balls above. It’s like a giant kitty toy! She’s pretty good about not touching things on the tree. Unfortunately, she also LOVES to lie in my nativity scene, sprawled under the wooden manger across the face of baby jesus. It’s quite funny that she feels the need to me one of the animals that witnessed the birth of jesus. But somehow i don’t think a grey cat with a rhinestone collar looks like an authentic Bethlehem-ian animal….

  17. Pete says:

    Ha, there you go – two for fakies. “w00t” as the kids these day say.

    Ontario had a brief flirtation with excessive PCness in the early 90s, having gotten really drunk after a Leafs game and gone out and elected a socialist provincial government, to the point that the Christmas tree at Toronto City Hall was renamed the Holiday tree, the cheesy-but-inoffensive band The Barenaked Ladies were banned from the city square as offensive to women, while the courts had just given Constitutional support to the idea that it’s perfectly alright for women to be walking around the streets topless. Which, believe me, was not as good in practice as it was in theory. The theory being, all topless chicks will be smoking hot. How wrong we were…

    So count me in for your activist collective, Mark. See if you can bring in these guys, too. These “Cockney barrow boy spivs” sound like sensible chaps:,,2-1487741,00.html

  18. Pete says:

    Now I’m being moderated!

    Come and see the violence inherent in the system! Help! Help! I’m being repressed!

  19. Drew says:

    Well, as you know, my folks are inclined to leave the tree up year round in the garage, fully decorated with a giant clear plastic bag over it. So, for me, the romance is gone.

    Why not just get a nice fern? Maybe a string of garland to jazz it up? Think about it.


  20. markandapril says:

    DREW!! Your parents don’t really do that do they?? Bonkers…

    It seems the debate has been settled anyway – we are going to get a real tree sometime this week.

    We did briefly consider just putting Eric in a tree stand and decorating him instead, but then April rightly pointed out that there wouldn’t be any big enough “branches” from which to hang the baubles.

    What’s going on over there anyway? How are you? Are you heading back west for Chrimbo?


  21. Pete says:

    Aw, here we go… some stupid judge downtown has just banished her first Christmas tree:

  22. Mark J says:

    Don’t get me started…

  23. Pete says:

    Wonder what this charming mullah’s take on Christmas trees would be…

    Londonistan, indeed. Remind me to avoid the tube next time I’m in town.

  24. HANNAH says:

    im afraid though to even GET a tree because my freinds cat strangles herself in the tinsel & lights. I find this very disturbing because in fact me myself have 2 cats, one a playful kitten who is well quite playful.

    but if i have to choose
    id definetly go with the origanl real tree.
    i mean you cant beat thte smell of pine,
    and nothing looks better than spending the day putting up a elaborat christmas tree & having it turn out fantastic!

  25. Mark J says:

    Well we did indeed go for the real tree…and we did it in style. It’s a seven-foot behemoth that takes up about a quarter of the living room. It’s fantastic though – it is decorated and there are piles of pressies underneath.

    The cats don’t tend to interfere with it too much. Jerry ate some of the needles at first, but a barfing session to bring them back up seems to have deterred him from pulling that particular stunt again.


  26. brian says:

    You may THINK that would be a deterrent…however I seem to recall Jerry quite enjoyed the act of puking! But that’s why we love him. Speaking of cats, some funny cat pics here:

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