Mark#10 – Please Be Seated

So, this time in three weeks, April and I will be officially wed. I still can’t really understand how I’ve managed to convince her this is a good idea, but she seems happy enough to go along with it so who am I to complain?

Anyway, in the spirit of getting through those (seemingly never-ending) little tasks and applying the finishing touches to the planning process, I’ve been sat down for the last hour taking a first stab at the seating plan for the wedding breakfast (that’s “t’posh dinner wi’ t’speeches”, for those who don’t know the wedding lingo).

Now anyone who has ever been to a wedding will probably recollect the excitement at seeing the seating plan and finding out who you’re about the spend the next 3 hours talking to and dining with. Hoping that it’s people you already know and get along with. Or praying that, if you’re sat with strangers, they are good social folk who you can strike an immediate rapport up with. I think we’ve all felt that sinking feeling too, the one when you find out you’re about to go through a painful ordeal sat with that annoying couple that nobody likes (glad there’s none of those at OUR wedding!).

Being responsible for assembling a seating plan is a much tougher challenge than I anticipated, though I’m kind of enjoying it in a mischievous way. I’ve already arranged a few tables where the balance can be described as ‘volatile’ at best, but I know April will make me change these as soon as she sees it. For the most part though, I am taking it very, very seriously.

I already called one friend (who shall remain nameless…but you know who you are) who told me in no uncertain terms who she (or he) definitely did NOT want to be sat with, and who she (or he) really DID want to be sat with. As a one-off, I will respect her (or his) requests, but imagine if I tried to accommodate everybody’s personal preferences. It would be a nightmare.

I guess what I’m trying to say, through this rather pointless posting, is that I’m realising I’m in a scenario where I want everyone to be happy, but where I’m undoubtedly going to piss people off. It’s just not possible to satisfy everyone in this situation, which is a very frustrating notion for someone like me, who aims to please. I imagine it will be almost unbearable for April, who is all about trying to keep absolutely everybody happy, 100% of the time. I’ve told her it’s impossible, but I think she’ll find a way. After all, she’s smarter than me.

By the way, if any of our wedding guests are brave enough to express their table / seating preferences in the comments section of this post, I’ll reward your courage by seriously considering it.


19 Responses to Mark#10 – Please Be Seated

  1. Jill says:

    This morning I thought the same thing Mark! ie: that in three weeks it would be yours & April’s big day. (Your wedding invite is on my fridge in Calgary.) I’m so excited for you both and am checking your blog almost daily to hear tidbits of your new life in the UK. (OK – so it’s not new for you, granted!) And being the Anglophile that I am, I knew what “wedding breakfast” meant! Woo hoo! Have a grand weekend, and tell April that she’ll look lovelier than Jodie Kidd in her wedding dress! 🙂

  2. markandapril says:

    JILLLLLLL!!!!! Thanks for the comment you Brit-mad bird you – great to hear from you. Somehow, I’m not surprised you knew the lingo, you seriously do know more about this country than I do – I could never tell you who the last 5 kings and queens have been.

    Sad you can’t make the wedding, but understandable given the circumstances of course, hope all is going well in your new life in Calgary. Comment again soon!!


  3. Nice post mark 🙂
    Oh and April, I can only name the 2 most recent monarchs in this country. We’ve got the current queen elizabeth and before her was probably king george. But before that I am in full 100% guess mode and would probably say something stupid like Henry VII or something.

    p.s. Mark I’ve lost your mobile number for the 3rd time hahaha, it was on the phone that got robbed. It might be on my sony phone actually but I don’t have a charger for that just yet. anyway, see you in the morning. hope the weather picks up for us though

  4. markandapril says:

    I have a feeling tomorrow’s match (first league game of the season for the mighty Turks Head) might be called off due to a waterlogged pitch – it’s been lashing down all day today. But fingers crossed for a dry evening and morning, and who knows?

    And your guess at Henry VII was poor at best, because obviously Henry VIII (the one who had 6 wives, everyone knows him) came after Henry VII. Victoria was more recent than all the Henrys, and I think Elizabeth I and one of the Georges must squeeze in there somewhere. But, like you, this is all complete guesswork.

    I never claimed to be a royalist though. Jill will be having a heart attack reading this…


  5. Oops. the VII was a typo. I meant to put VIII. I said “8th” in my head and then wrote “VII”. That doesn’t get me off the hook I understand but I thought I’d iron out that particular goof

  6. markandapril says:

    Good ironing!


  7. The all seeing Greek says:

    who is the high maintainance troublesome guest with Mariah Carey like Diva demands!! Whoever you are you should be thankful for the invite and grin and bear it. Are any ewoks going?

  8. markandapril says:

    Alas Mr. Greek, you will be the only attendee that hails from the Forest Moon of Endor.


  9. The all seeing Greek says:

    Yub yub

  10. Jill says:

    Just a bit of background, b/c you’re right Mark, this was killing me! Current monarch, QEII, who followed her father, George VI, who followed his brother, Edward VIII (who abdicated for Wallis Simpson), who followed his father, George V, who followed his father, Edward VI, who followed his mother, Victoria, who followed her uncle William IV, who followed his brother George IV, who followed his father, George III… I can go on, if you like, but I’m guessing you couldn’t care less! 🙂 Happy Wednesday.

  11. Jill says:

    Oops, made a small typo there, Edward VII (not Edward 6!)

  12. markandapril says:

    How are you NOT English, Jill?


  13. And whereabouts on the royal family tree do they get their German blood?

  14. markandapril says:

    I assume they get their German blood from Germany.

    I’ll refer you to Jill for a more serious answer, although I think it goes back to when they were the Hanovers.


  15. speaking of germany… and hangovers, I’ll be in germany getting hangovers in about 2 weeks. I’d invite you along but I seem to remember you have a minor social occasion planned?

  16. markandapril says:

    That’s right chief, this time in two weeks we shall be man and wife. April and I, that is, not you and I.

    I suspect our wedding reception might be as beer-laden as a night at the Oktoberfest. Especially since Nige will be there.


  17. bin-laden is going to your wedding?
    right that’s it, I’m cancelling Oktoberfest!

  18. markandapril says:

    Well, I suppose you could call Nige an international beer terrorist.


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